I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
