Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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