i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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