That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
