I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
