just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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