she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
