Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
