If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
