and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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