im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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