Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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