its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
