Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
