Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
