Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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