Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
