just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
