Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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