Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
