if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
