I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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