you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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