so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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