On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted