names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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