ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
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I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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