We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
