i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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