I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
True strength comes from lack of pants
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
