I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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