I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
