pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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