Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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