Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
