Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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