all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
