I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
