whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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