No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we're making bets on your personal life
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
