I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
