how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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