the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
