When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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