Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
