the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
