I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
