direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
