By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
