the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
