I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize