Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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