You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
