Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
