I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
