i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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