got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize