i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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