this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize