Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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