i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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